Hi, My Name is Juice
#77 - And I'm a Certified Road Dog
Ok, ok, listen up now. This is Juice. I know you've heard of me.
I had to take over writing dooties for Hoo-Man, because he's catching up on sleep after driving 1,200 miles in one day... again.
He schwore he’d never ever do that again, but once that guy starts driving, he's like a machine.
Twust me, I have to scratch at the back of his head to ask him for breaks.
It gets boring in the back seat of our car after 200 miles in a row. A dog can only sleep so much while Papa belts Paul Simon's Graceland out of key, ya dig?
Sometimes I wanna pee on stuff. And sniff the flowers. I don't even know how many state flowers I've smelled now. So many! I ate a couple too.
Anyway, since I have your attenshun now, I thought I'd tell you, it’s officially official. I’m a Certified Road Dog.
That's right—I just completed my first 10,000 miles of road trippin' with my Papa, and I'm only one anda half years old. I’ve gone all over, and I’ve peed on so many different things by this point, I forgot what my favorite target was.
My Papa tells me I'm the best Road Dog ever, and he's proud to have me with him. And he gave me sooo many fish skins for being a good boy in the car during our latest 3-week trip.
But I don't even know what the heck just happened, to be honest. That was the craziest ride of my life…
I had to calm Papa when we lost our front brakes going down the Colorado Rockies. Thankfully when he phoned Auntie Shannon for help, she found us a Sunday Mountain Town Mechanic.
And then I had to help Papa chill the heck out when the mechanic got drunk and started staggering around, after he took our car apart. We were in his driveway, and I played with his doggie. She was really rowdy!
But ultimately we got through it together, and Papa gave me a biiig hug, telling me he couldn't have done it without me. Haha, he's the best, and I'm glad I could help him stay cool.
Each night we spent on the road, we camped in the wilderness! After long days of driving together, he would find what he called "Public Land”, and we would pitch our tent in a dispersed area.
And no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't fit into his sleeping bag with him. But he brought extra blankies, and my special bed, so I stayed nice and warm each night.
I loved sleeping under the stars in our tent, but dang, it got pretty windy and I thought we were gonna blow away at one point!
In Utah, before sunrise one morning, some big lookin’ aminals barked at us from the hills as we packed our car to hit the road. I didn’t know what they were, but I was ready for ‘em.
Papa called out all the critters we saw along the way. Coyotes, White Tail Deer, Foxes, countless Birds of Prey, and a special Cat from another dimenshun. And thankfully we avoided the skunks, though we could smell them.
When we got to Californya, I got to see my Gwandparent's doggies. Caity was as sweet as always, and gave me lots of kisses.
But Finn had me on the edge the whole time, that sausage-shaped bastard. I don't know if he's got a stick up his butt, or what. When I tried to check, he tried to bite me.
Ha, too bad I'm faster though ;-P
When I was a little baby, Papa came and took me from that stinky pee cage at the shelter. I wanted my brothers and sisters to come, but they stayed behind.
In the courtyard out front, I told him, “my name is Juice”, and I jumped all over him.
Swooping me up in his arms, he replied, "Juice, haha, what a name. I promise you I am going to give you the best life ever, and you're going to do the same for me.
And you know what—I'd say we're both doing a pretty good job keeping our ends of the deal up.
I'm ready for another advensure, but I have a feeling Papa's going to want to write for a while.
So I'll make sure to let him know when it's break time, and we can go out for walks in the sun!
Oh... YAY… ok, it looks like he's waking up now. I'm gonna go see about wrangling up more of those fish skins.
How do you send this thing? I think I pwess the gween button…?
WOOSH!
Juice, you're a wonderful writer! Let's keep hearing from you.
Good boy Juice!